Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
