Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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