now i know why i became what i already was.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
