I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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