Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
