Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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