hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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