you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
