I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
