brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
