Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize