Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
