We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
