i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
even my farts smell like vagina
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
