We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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