I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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