Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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