Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
