erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
