I didn't shave. On purpose
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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