I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
