we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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