Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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