are you still at the devil's house?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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