if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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