Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
In America we eat man semen.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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