I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
