He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
