and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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