Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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