It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
