There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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