the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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