That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
