just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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