i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
