He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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