Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
