How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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