Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Randomize
