i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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