I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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