Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
