YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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