Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I supernannyed him into submission
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
