I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize