She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
