I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
