I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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