Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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