It's Friday. Sex?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
