try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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