i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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