Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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