My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
