just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
