I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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