I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
