mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
one two three fourrrrnication!
My cat gives me a boner
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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