You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
