I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
