11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
